Categorized: Fun

A Letter From a Home Correctional Facility

Chewy on Bed November 2013-2

It’s been 3,013 days that my captors have held me here. Eight long years. Eight long years of 23 1/2 hours in this house with a 30 minute break for “outdoor activities”. Eight long years of sharing this house with cellmates that drive me insane.

One of my cellmates is this big, goofy fat guy named Sammy. He claims he’s from a long-line of aristocratic felines from England, but I snicker at this. He’s so happy all the time it makes me want to barf. Sometimes I find myself just staring at him with a look of complete disbelief and disgust on my face. How can this guy be for real? He’s locked up in this PRISON, and he likes it? And he’s been here longer than I have! He’s formed some kind of weird bond with the female warden. I think maybe he’s got Stockholm syndrome. The female warden is always petting him and kissing him – forcing him to love her and he lets her! He even seems to like it because sometimes I catch him purring. Often I lash out at him because I just can’t take it anymore. Oh and did I mention he snores? Yep, he snores so loudly that I have to go sleep in another part of the cell-block to get any rest.

Another of my cellmates is this little female named Squirt. I don’t know what she did to get in here because she seems so innocent and gentle. She’s been in here a couple years longer than I have, but seems rather well-adjusted to the life. She doesn’t talk much and in fact sleeps most of the days away. She does go a little crazy when the wardens are eating. It’s like she wants their human food and not our food, and it kind of annoys me. She too has this Stockholm syndrome I think. She actually sleeps on the male warden’s lap! I mean, who does that? The male warden will pet her and she will get all riled up. It’s like they genuinely like each other. Again, I am sickened by this act of fake love, and just want to lash out.

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If Sammy Ran a Personal Ad, This Is What It Would Say

Sammy Prowling-4

Good afternoon,

My name is King Samuel I of Wickinghamshire, but pretty much everyone just calls me Sammy or Sam.

Some background about me: In my past 8 lives I was a powerful King in England, but now I’m just an ordinary American house-cat. *Shudder*. I still feel and look aristocratic though, and I don’t understand many of the American ways. People can be so uncivilised here.

I am about 10 years old now, but certainly not an old man by any means. My keepers tell me all the time I still have a “kitten-face” but that just belittles me. I’ve got major spunk and personality and I am looking for someone with those same traits. I am built much like King Henry VIII was. Strong, powerful and yes, maybe I carry a bit of weight around my midsection. I do tend to gorge, purge and gorge, much like my Kingly predecessors, because that is our way!

Sammy Christmas 2013

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Erin Condren 2014-2015 Life Planner Platinum Edition Turquoise Review

Erin Condren Life Planner

Not too long ago I was scrolling through my Instagram feed when I saw a photo of this beautiful looking planner. I learned it was from Erin Condren, and soon I fell into an obsession with owning one!

Actually I have been obsessed with office supplies, calendars, notebooks and planners as long as I have been alive. I can’t even tell you how many planners, notebooks and Post-it notes I own, it’s kind of embarrassing. But I’ve never owned one as pretty as this one, I can tell you that!

There are quite a few designs of the Life Planners you can choose from, but my favorite was the Platinum foil edition in the color turquoise. These foil planners come in both gold or platinum and are more costly than the regular ones because they are actually hand-stamped using a heart and pressure technique similar to letterpress printing.

Erin Condren Life Planner-2

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10 Things That Always Make Me Happy

Garnier Nourishing Cleansing Oil

1. A freshly washed face after a long day.

2. New or freshly washed bedding.

3. Being in water – doesn’t matter if it’s a shower, bath, hot tub, swimming pool, lake or ocean!

Books

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Lime Green Nail Polish Smackdown

Lime Green Smackdown

Why hello there and welcome to my lime green nail polish smackdown!

Recently I had this urge to gather up all my lemon-lime and/or lime green nail shades to look at them together. I love this shade and it seems to be a pretty popular one this season. Aside from olive green, which you KNOW I love, I think this type of green is my second favorite kind of green nail shade. I could BASK in this color all day! It makes me happy. :D

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