A Letter From a Home Correctional Facility

Chewy on Bed November 2013-2

It’s been 3,013 days that my captors have held me here. Eight long years. Eight long years of 23 1/2 hours in this house with a 30 minute break for “outdoor activities”. Eight long years of sharing this house with cellmates that drive me insane.

One of my cellmates is this big, goofy fat guy named Sammy. He claims he’s from a long-line of aristocratic felines from England, but I snicker at this. He’s so happy all the time it makes me want to barf. Sometimes I find myself just staring at him with a look of complete disbelief and disgust on my face. How can this guy be for real? He’s locked up in this PRISON, and he likes it? And he’s been here longer than I have! He’s formed some kind of weird bond with the female warden. I think maybe he’s got Stockholm syndrome. The female warden is always petting him and kissing him – forcing him to love her and he lets her! He even seems to like it because sometimes I catch him purring. Often I lash out at him because I just can’t take it anymore. Oh and did I mention he snores? Yep, he snores so loudly that I have to go sleep in another part of the cell-block to get any rest.

Another of my cellmates is this little female named Squirt. I don’t know what she did to get in here because she seems so innocent and gentle. She’s been in here a couple years longer than I have, but seems rather well-adjusted to the life. She doesn’t talk much and in fact sleeps most of the days away. She does go a little crazy when the wardens are eating. It’s like she wants their human food and not our food, and it kind of annoys me. She too has this Stockholm syndrome I think. She actually sleeps on the male warden’s lap! I mean, who does that? The male warden will pet her and she will get all riled up. It’s like they genuinely like each other. Again, I am sickened by this act of fake love, and just want to lash out.

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Pixi Shea Butter Lip Balm Swatches & Review

Pixi Shea Butter Lip Balm

Pixi Shea Butter Lip Balm comes in five shades as well as a transparent option. These balms are infused with shea butter and vitamin E to make them smooth and hydrating, yet light on the lips.

The colors they come in are Coral Crush (coral/papaya), Honey Nectar (nude), Ripe Raspberry (raspberry pink), Natural Rose (soft mauve/rose) and Pixi Pink (bright pink). They leave a definite color behind on the lips, but it’s a light wash. They are much more colorful than the Benefit tinted balms, which are basically nearly invisible on me. These leave a definite color behind, and they feel very comfortable on my lips. There really is no scent or taste to them either.

Pixi Shea Butter Lip Balm-2

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Note: Cruelty free

Azature Summer 2014 Collection

Azature Summer 2014 Collection Collage

The Azature Summer 2014 Collection landed on my desk on what feels like an eternity ago, but I finally found some time to swatch them, and there are some beauties here!

This collection features five new creme shades, all with a real black diamond inside. I am really tempted to empty out one of these bottles some day and find that diamond. At $25.00 per bottle, there had better be a diamond inside! ;)

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Note: Cruelty free

Zoya Ignite Fall 2014 Collection

Zoya Ignite

The Zoya Ignite Fall 2014 Collection is available now and I’ve got all the details and swatches for ya.

This collection features six new shades with a shimmery, liquid metal finish. Call me insane but for some reason I wasn’t all that excited about these. Maybe my brain was just not computing the sheer gorgeousness, but I was kind of like ‘meh’ about them when I saw the press release. That all changed when I saw them in person. A couple of them actually, literally set my heart racing!

Zoya has such a crazy-good formula and these are just as great as with other collections. They are ridiculously creamy, smooth, pigmented and opaque. You won’t ever need more than two coats. They apply like a dream and feel like melted butter in a bottle. Shimmery butter!

Mmmmmm butter…

I digress.

Zoya Ignite

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Note: Cruelty free

Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick in Agatha and Countess

Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick

This afternoon I’ve got two goodies for ya that you can find at Sephora: Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick in Agatha and Countess.

In my previous post about these lipsticks I mentioned that there are 30 shades to choose from, which is really great! Many of them are bright or kind of strange shades, but there are some very wearable shades in there as well.

Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipsticks

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Note: Undetermined if cruelty free