Two Women Talking

Warning: there are swear words. 😉

As a beauty blogger I tend to see a ton of beautiful things on a daily basis but occasionally, something maybe not as expected – a lot of ugliness. Not ugly products but ugly attitudes and behavior. Some people tend to think because I am a beauty blogger (or hell, just plain heavy makeup consumer even before the blog thing) it means it’s the ONLY thing about me. Like all I care or think about my entire life are beauty products. That I am shallow, narcissistic, vapid, etc. You think of the negative word, people have let me know they thought it about me in emails, comments or tweets to me.

The disturbing thing is it’s not just outsiders of the blogging world who say these things. It’s other nail or beauty bloggers at times. Instead of being supportive of someone trying something new or going out on a limb and showing a photo when they aren’t 100% confident about it, they let them know with a rude comment. Or even worse, they go to a makeup board or other website specifically created to talk crap about YouTubers and bloggers. Oh yes, those exist – can you believe it? I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that people spend that much time and energy talking shit about other people. Think of the things they could do with their own lives if they channeled that energy into something more positive! But clearly they have something going on mentally and should probably see a therapist and get it figured out.

What is it about makeup?

But it’s a strange thing because not all professions, hobbies or interests are looked at this way. Most people don’t look at, oh say, a mid-level manager in the food industry as just some food-obsessed person with an eating disorder. Or a clinical scientist as someone who only thinks of science and data all the time, and has no common sense whatsoever. But when it comes to beauty, people can get downright ugly. They think they somehow they have the right to judge you because you like makeup. As though their interest in math or politics or the law is somehow more important than your interests, and therefore that makes them not only smarter than you, but BETTER than you. I’m sorry but you can’t attach a value on someone’s interests. Just like you can’t say you love your dog more than I love my cat. It is what it is, we feel how we feel, and no one is more right than the other.

Sure makeup is a superficial thing that we don’t actually need to survive. So are clothes. And cars. And houses. And 401(k) accounts. And technology. And music. And books. And movies. And video games. And many drugs. And 95% of the food in supermarkets. We don’t need any of that to survive, all we really need is water, food and shelter of some kind. Ok maybe some clothing if you live in a cold climate. But somewhere along the line society decided what was “ok” to like, want and use, and what was considered excessive or superficial. If you like any of that excessive or superficial stuff too much, well then you are a total narcissist and you must be an airhead. You obviously cannot be educated or be a voracious reader. You definitely don’t ever think about anyone but yourself. And of course you can’t get anything done because you are prone to staring at yourself in the mirror for hours on end. Who’s the fairest of them all?

The eye of the beholder

The interesting thing is, even within the beauty realm there are different levels of what is considered to be too much. Susan would say having more than 20 nail polishes is silly. Jane would say you need more variety, how about 50? Molly would argue that 250 is a better number because of the variety of shades and finishes would be better. Anna would tell you that 800 was just fine because she had the room for it. Veronica would say that she considers herself a collector, so why not have 2,000? I would say that all of them are right.

Why is it ok for people to collect baseball cards or salt and pepper shakers but not makeup? Does the mere act of liking to put something on your skin, nails or body automatically make you one-dimensional? Is it the fact that you don’t actually wear baseball cards or salt and pepper shakers what makes them seem like a more acceptable thing, therefore you are more intelligent? You sometimes hear people who are avid collectors of things like Star Wars items described as nerds or geeks or weirdos, but never shallow or stupid.

In the end I guess I just wanted to get this out there because I get the feeling a lot of people who I have contact with on this blog and on social media have had similar experiences. Maybe friends or family judging them for what they like, or trolls saying something nasty to you online. Remember it’s the people doing the judging and who are so concerned about your life who are the ones with the issue, not you. Don’t ever let anyone belittle you for your interests or opinions. Like what you like proudly, be transparent, and let all those who don’t like it go to hell.

Judgmental self-righteousness is never a beautiful thing.


Written by Kelly
Vampy Varnish is dedicated to showing high resolution makeup and nail polish swatches, and providing honest product reviews.