Illamasqua Theatre of the Nameless Nail Varnish for Fall 2011 Swatches & Review

“Taking a lead from the colour-coded specialties of the Wittenberg Platz’s domineering Boots Girls, Illamasqua introduces confident new shades in Taint, Kink,Vice and Faux Pas.”

I have NO idea what that means, but I love the sound of it! :)

Theatre of the Nameless is the new fall 2011 makeup collection from Illamasqua and as usual, they have put out some incredible colors as well as amazing artistic makeup looks, all done by Alex Box.

The collection features 4 new nail varnish colors all with what they call a waxy “rubber-look” finish. I heard “rubber”and I was SUPER excited to test them out in person! Turns out they really aren’t rubber-like in my eyes, but more waxy or satin-like. NOT matte at all, though so don’t worry about that.

The other cool thing about this collection is the rubber cap, which is a departure from the regular shiny, slick cap. I love it!

Illamasqua Faux Pas
Faux Pas

Faux Pas is a blue-toned violet. This color is deep, gorgeous and applies and dries so amazingly even it’s pretty awesome! Doesn’t it look a little waxy to you? This was so opaque you could almost do one coat, but I did two.

Illamasqua Taint

Taint (I’m sure I am going to get some interesting hits on my site from this name) is a medium chocolate brown. This is my favorite one because I adore the tone of this brown and LOVE the formula. Again this was super opaque and dries to a great satin finish. Weirdly and interestingly I notice this line down each of my nails in the photos that I didn’t see in person.  I have no clue what caused this! The “Taint” ghost?

Illamasqua Kink

Kink is a medium bottle-green color. This is the one I thought I would like the most but liked the least actually. But I still like it. I think it could have used three coats rather than the two I did because it’s not as opaque as the others. I also think the other two have a slightly more waxy/satin look to them than this one did.


Great collection! If you like satin type finishes, you may like these. I’m not sure the colors are all that unique, but I love the color combined with the texture, and think they’re really cool looking.

Availability: Their website, Sephora

Pricing: $14.00

What do ya think?

Speaking of British things…

I rented the Jane Eyre movie that came out earlier this year the other night and loved it. I am such a sucker for ANY period movie, but especially English ones. I would totally live with Mr. Rochester in a castle on the English Moors, crazy attic woman and all. As long as I had internet access 😉

But really, this was my first ever time seeing Jane Eyre (I haven’t read it either. I know, I know, what kind of English degree holding person AM I?) but now I want to see other versions. Have you seen any? Which were your favs?



  • September 19, 2011

    I need these polishes. I LOVE the rubber/waxy finish!

  • September 19, 2011

    You need to watch the version with William Hurt and Charlotte Gainsbourg – it’s fabulous!

  • September 19, 2011

    I really like Taint! I think my love of chocolate has something to do with it. I thought I’d love Kink more, but it doesn’t jump out at me the way I hoped it would. :/

    I just have to say it: you’ve never read Jane Eyre?! I have to Fedex my copy to you, right now! LOL.

    • September 19, 2011

      Hi Chris,

      I have it, as I have almost ALL the classics but haven’t read most of ’em. I have tried, just not into the old fashioned style of writing. :)

  • September 19, 2011

    I have faux pas and both..esp taint..

  • September 19, 2011

    I love these polishes! I like the name Faux Pas for a polish. :)

    I’ve seen two versions of Jane Eyre and my favorite is definitely the one starring William Hurt… AHmazing! I, too, am a lover of all things English period!

  • September 19, 2011

    I collect Jane Eyres on DVD. 😉 My favorites are the ones starring Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens from around 2007 and one from the early 1970s starring Sorcha Cusack and Michael Jayston. They capture the spirit of the book best. I loved the scenery and storytelling method of flashback of this latest one, but Mr. Rochester was too creepy and domineering to me. Yes, he’s scary, but he’s not abusive and this movie went over the line to cringe moments with one wanting to yell, “Jane, get out!” He loves Jane because she doesn’t take his crap.

    Have you seen the new Downton Abbey 2 trailer? Delicious.

    Another BBCaholic…

  • September 19, 2011
    Jennifer Phifer

    The Wittenberg Platz boot girls were dominatrices for hire in pre-Hitler Berlin. The color of their leather boots and laces corresponded with the services they offered. Crazy stuff.

    • September 19, 2011

      Hi Jennifer,

      Oh gotcha thanks for that!

  • September 19, 2011

    Hmm…interesting. I also thought I’d like Kink the best, but I’m really digging Taint. I might have to pick it up soon.

  • September 19, 2011

    i love the first shade!

  • September 19, 2011

    the colors and finishes are really cool! i kinda love the names! one other time you review a lip gloss with a nasty sounding name…dont remember it now but love the idea of it! LOL!

  • September 19, 2011

    I dunno, I’m not really a fan of these waxy rubbery finishes for some reason. Guess its not really for everybody :(
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  • September 19, 2011

    I like the colours, but I can’t get into the rubber finish.
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  • September 19, 2011

    Old-fashioned style of writing! Gah! It’s Bronte! All of the Bronte sisters earned their notorietary as authors for a reason! I would definitely suggest reading it!
    I’ve never seen a movie version…I never like the movies as much as the book.
    Illamasqua…like the idea of the collection, but don’t like that finish and don’t like the colors enough to overlook that finish.

    • September 19, 2011

      Hi Lesley,

      I never said they weren’t good writers but not everyone can get into all styles of reading. I’ve read The Iliad, The Odyssey (and whole quarter on Greek plays actually) Shakespeare (another whole quarter of plays), Dickens, Hawthorne, etc. but never could get into the Bronte sisters or Jane Austen.

  • September 19, 2011

    I have not seen the new “Jane Eyre”. I honestly didn’t like the book at all (actually, I feel very strongly about how much I DON’T like it) so I have not been interested in seeing any film adaptations.

    Also, these polishes remind me of the Orly Plastix as far as the finish, but I like the colors here better.

  • September 19, 2011
    Michelle Peeples

    Absolutely love, love Taint.

    As for Jane Eyre I haven’t seen the most recent version with Michael Fassbender and Mia Wasikowska but the version with Toby Stephens and Ruth Jones (2006/2007) is excellent. I would suggest checking that one out.

  • September 19, 2011

    Taint ghost! I fell out of my chair when I read that! The haunting of Taint. Now I’m splitting a gut!!!

    These shades are a wonderful departure from a slick shine.

    I love period movies. There’s one I would recommend ‘Firelight.’
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  • September 19, 2011

    I’ve seen the Charlotte Gainsborough version and one with the son of Maggie Smith, and both were pretty good, but I don’t quite remember. I think the latter was better. I haven’t seen the new one yet. You should definitely read the book! It’s one of my favorites, and a requisite for any liberal arts-type woman.

    Taint may be an even grosser name than Load. I don’t know if they meant it like that, but it’s brown, man.

  • September 19, 2011

    I highly recommend the first movie version with Joan Fontaine: It’s absolutely wonderful (and a very young Elizabeth Taylor has a small part in the beginning)!
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  • September 19, 2011

    I really love these colors. I think the finish looks cool! My favorite is Vice, the berry pink one. Taint just cracks me up. I would love to be a fly on the wall when they have the meetings to pick names. Bah ha ha!!!

    As far as Jane Eyre goes, it’s one of my favorite classics. I recently watched the one with Anna Paquin as little Jane (I think it’s the William Hurt one) and I love it a well.

    Have you read Jasper Fforde? He has a book called The Eyre Affair. Very interesting, and a very different concept. I love his books as well.

    • September 19, 2011

      Hi Pam R,

      Yes I have read those books by Jasper Fforde and love them!

  • September 19, 2011


  • September 19, 2011

    Giggling like a 10 year old over “The “Taint” ghost?”



  • September 19, 2011

    I can’t believe that you haven’t read Jan Eyre! I had lots of classic books & never read them. I have read this & loved it. Now Shakespeare I couldn’t get into. I love the original film with Orson Wells & Joan Fontaine. Now I love these polishes. Kink is my favorite. As usual the names are just insane. I wasn’t quite sure of the definition of Taint so I looked it up in the Urban Dictinoary. I had a hard laugh about your Taint Ghost!! I need these polishes.

  • September 20, 2011

    The Taint Ghost!!!!! Bwahahahaaaaa!!!! You made my morning with that one. I have Faux Pas and I love the rubber finish.
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  • September 20, 2011

    I agree with Elise, my first thought was Orly Plastix on the finish. I also agree with her on the strong dislike of Jane Eyre, couldn’t make it through the book and wouldn’t even try to get through a movie.

    But Jane Austen? You haven’t read Jane Austen??? My favorite author of all time and I love all the movie versions of the books I’ve seen too.

    • September 20, 2011

      Hi Donna J,

      Nope cannot get into her novels at ALL.

  • September 20, 2011

    Interesting colors but the one I liked is the purple one and this sateen finish is beautiful for fall

  • September 21, 2011

    It isn’t remotely “real” (in the sense os coming from old source material, like a novel) but have you found Downton Abbey? And we’ll get season two in January!

  • September 25, 2011

    These are all beautiful!