Dzien Dobry! (Good morning in Polish. Um and that’s Polish the country, not Polish as in nail polish, LOL!)

I have some nail polishes to show you today that I have had sitting around waiting to be swatched for about 5-6 months. They are from the company Orgasm Cosmetics. Yeah I know. Normally names like that don’t really bother me, but after I spoke with the owner when I needed to call them for something, I kinda changed my mind. At first I thought oh ok Orgasm Cosmetics, they are trying to get people’s attention with a scintillating name, whatever. But then after that phone call, I felt more like the some of the color names were made out of pure sleaziness or desperation to be different. I don’t know I could be wrong, but that’s MY take on it.

I was only calling in to check on an order that I had placed for my buddy Helen (of Helen & Sheenie’s Nice Things) because I never got confirmation, but was charged immediately and it had been weeks. I got ahold of the owner when I called (but not when I had emailed a couple times) and he started quizzing me on really weird things. He was asking how I liked the names (in what I felt was a slimy way) and what did I think about the colors, etc. He never asked if I had a few minutes to chat, which irked me because I was at work (in a cube) and this wasn’t meant to be more than a 2 minute call. But he went on and on talking about some idea they had for combining polish with lipstick, and what did I think about that, etc. The whole thing just left me feeling really, how shall I say, uninspired! Then I had almost no desire to swatch the colors.

But I did finally. A few are truly amazing colors, the names be damned (and there are worse ones on the site, trust me…)!

The formula was pretty decent on all of them, I didn’t run into any issues to speak of. Check them out.

Orgasm Not Now Not Ever!
Not Now, Not Ever!

Not Now, Not Ever! is a very pale beige/gold shimmery frost. This was very sheer and a tiny bit streaky but was better after three coats.

Orgasm Hidden Agenda
Hidden Agenda

Hidden Agenda is close to Not Now, Not Ever! but has more taupe in it. I liked this better on me but still didn’t “wow” me. This was three coats.

Orgasm Don't Ask!
Don’t Ask!

Don’t Ask! is hard to describe, it’s like a gold mixed with a lot of olive green and lots of multi-colored shimmer. It’s not as nice on me as I had hoped it would be. I think the gold was too strong and yellow for my skin tone. This was three coats.

Orgasm Trust Me
Trust Me

Trust Me is a nice bold true blue cream. This is great on fair skin especially, and I liked it. This was two coats.

Orgasm I Dare You!
I Dare You

I Dare You is a grass green cream on the cool side. Loved this also, very pretty. This was two coats.

Orgasm Dripping Wet
Dripping Wet

Dripping Wet (the worst name of them all) is a stunning lit-from-within deep purple shimmer. The shimmer is gold, blue and pink and in the sunlight this baby comes alive! LOVE it. This was two coats.

Orgasm Indecent Proposal
Indecent Proposal

Indecent Proposal is another stunner. This is a deep, vampy, blackened reddish/purple with gads of red and gold shimmer. Again in the sun this one is fabulous. This was two coats.

One thing to note, when you visit their website here, the color swatches they have are not accurate at all. So know that if you order something based on those swatches, you might be winging it, as I did with the first two! They are big three-free and cost $6.00 each.

So what do you guys think about both the names and colors?

-VV

Written by Kelly
Vampy Varnish is dedicated to showing high resolution makeup and nail polish swatches, and providing honest product reviews.